“Not just yet.”

Last 1st June, I turned one year in my current job. I started to realize how far I’ve gone and how far I still am from where I really want to be. However though, I am still unsure of what and where do I really want to be.

Would I pursue my childhood dream? Would I continue to explore the industry where I’m currently in? Would I go and look for a job that aligns with my degree?

I honestly have no idea yet. Scary, right? Millennials like me are now known to be multi-passionate – where we are drawn into one thing while also being passionate about the other.

Confused and in a rush to cope up with the fast-growing world, I realized that while it is ideal to join the crowd and speed up a bit, it is also essential to pause and slow down for awhile and be some place else other than the present.

May it be the future where you’ve always visualize yourself in or may it be the past where you can look back and say, “I’m proud of you, Self. Look how far you’ve gone. And look how stronger you have become.

Either way, what matters is you still try to get a time to reflect on something about the good life despite negative and unfavorable circumstances.

True, there will be disappointments along the way. We face rejections, we experience failures… But know what? Whenever I look back to all the events that happened to me just last year where I didn’t have a stable job for half a year, where I worked so hard to impress interviewers so they will hire me, lived with people I barely know and the land where I know nothing, braved the unknown and see “What’s in there?,” and thinking that this is not what I was hoping for. This is not what I deserve. Like, I spent and bore 4 years of my life in a university far from home so I can build myself and my family a better future, but this is all I’ve got….

Yet still God proved me that He will never leave me empty-handed and there is something bigger waiting for me on the other side of this journey. So, I just thought to myself: “Not so bad, Ella. So far, so good.”

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.”

2 Timothy 4:7

That whenever I don’t succeed on something that I have always been preparing myself for, there’s just three words that always come to my mind:

“Not just yet.”

Those three words teach me how to be patient, how to persevere and push harder, to continue hoping and praying. To continue believing.

After all the heartaches, frustrations, disappointments, He gave me something I am truly not deserving of. He blessed me with something bigger than my prayers.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

God never fails. His love never fails. ❤

(Featured photo was taken last 2015 at Ina ng Laging Saklolo Church, Tagaytay right after my college graduation.)

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